Bon Iver’s Justin Vernon stroked his scruffy beard. We’d been standing in the kitchen for several hours now.
“What if, like,” he said, deep in thought, “You had a feeling - right? - that took over ALL THE OTHER FEELINGS? Like, a MegaFeeling. You know how they have giant squids, yeah? Well, what if you had a feeling that was like that?”
I swilled my beer around the bottom of the empty bottle. It was warm now.
“What if,” Justin continued, “Like, that MegaFeeling was an emotion? What if you felt so much that you just - like - died? What if you liked a girl so much you died? Or had a sweater that was so comfy that you died? Or had a really great hat or something? Like, what then? What if that happened? What if - are you with me?”
“Ok, so, what if you had a t-shirt that was made of so much cottonpoly blend that it was so snuggly that you just died? What if you had a beard just the right mix of masculine and non-threatening that a girl touched it and then she died?”
“Can I have another beer, Justin?” I asked.
“Yeah, sure, but,” he said, pulling another Fat Tire beer out from the tattered minifridge behind him - he was like that, he had his own personal stash of Fat Tire and you had to talk to him to get any of it, “Do you understand what I’m saying? What if, like, you sung in such a good falsetto that you killed everyone in the room with a… MegaFeeling?”
I nodded again, and closed my eyes just long enough to think the entire thought, that, as cool as it was; when Justin Vernon of Bon Iver corners you at a party kinda drunk and wants to talk about feelings? There’s no way out.